Disappointment; everyone experiences it, but the greatest disappointment is having someone lie to you. I'm not talking about 'who took the last cookie from the cookie jar?', I'm talking about the horrible lie that causes them to freeze, lose eye contact, and then play it off as if they have no idea what you're talking about, then when you catch [that's me] them in a lie and they just try to make it better by saying that you caught them off guard because they didn't have an explanation when it came down to it.
Alright, now to get you to follow, let me explain to you what happened today. I show up to my boyfriend's house [backstory, a couple of weeks ago he got in trouble with his parent's for drinking and he blacked out and made it a point to make sure that I knew that he wasn't going to drink anymore]. Now, I'm not a nosey girlfriend, I'm not clingy, and I'm very trusting. He was packing up his room and I took a break from helping him and started playing with his phone, only to bring up his text messages. This morning he had sent a message to his friend [whom he spent the night with at his friend's house] saying, "dude, i forgot my handle, get rid of it" now, ladies and gentlemen, a handle is a slang term for hard liquor. I waited a while, and then turned to face him and said, " [Name], what's a handle?" (mind you, i knew what he was talking about in the message). The color in his face drains and he starts mumbling, what is a .. handle... and I waited for his response, which was, "Oh, that's a typo." I was NOT convinced. so i repeated, "What's a handle, [Name]", more sternly. Then he replied, "oh, I didn't drink, I had some leftover from last time and [Friend] wanted it, so i brought it to him". So at this point, would you believe him? No. No you wouldn't. I was absolutely infuriated that he would think I was dumb enough to believe him for a second. His defense?: "You caught me off guard, I didn't know what to say, you would have thought I was drinking. I was nervous." So my thought is, so next time when I 'catch [again, that's me] him off guard', he's going to lie again? Yeah. Most definitely. Now, I can't trust him. At least when I do something wrong, I admit to it when I'm caught.
But of course disappointment and trust issues will not cause me to leave someone. I will walk a million miles to get walked on in a heartbeat, I guess I'm just too loyal to let go of someone. I have a weakness, being weak. But again, I'm strong enough to catch others when they get lost. Now if only I was strong enough to change their direction.
Meet you in the Rye, Catch.